bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
