sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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