i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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