party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
And then he peed in my hair
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