We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
