if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
