I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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