I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I booty called her while she was in labor.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize