Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
