Non-Jews are for practice
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
