lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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