So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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