My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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