I got chris browned last night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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