It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
