I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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