Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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