i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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