He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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