p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
