I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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