Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
