you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
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I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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