Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize