Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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