I am puke
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The power of my boobs compel you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
