I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
