What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
