your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
