sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
