look no pants
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i need some magic done to my vagina
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize