I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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