ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize