Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
