there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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