Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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