I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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