he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
