the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
