I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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