omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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