so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
