So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
