He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm jealous of your bromance
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
