If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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