On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
People in love make me want to vomit
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
