Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
