i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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