why didn't you poke me back
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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