his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
