I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
