I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
