i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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