Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
