I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Enjoy the penises
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
