I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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