Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
