everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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