She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
