i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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